Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Born in an alien dimension, Noah Stewart was actually sent through space/time as his dying home-planet's last hope for the survival of his species.

Discovered in a snow drift in Calgary, his adopted parents Marianne Siple and James Stewart raised the strange creature as their own, though oddly enough their true genetic offspring Perry Stewart is actually weirder.

They were quick to discover Noah's superior strength and intellect. Sadly, all that disappeared before his 2nd birthday, leaving him a weak and powerless creature indeed.

He seems to have an amazing ability to consume vast amounts of food and not gain any weight. Most of this food consists of Kraft Dinner, the primary source of nutrition on his home planet, mainly because they are all poor and lazy. See here as the creature furiously shovels the life-substance into his gaping oraface!


As his destiny became clear to him, it dawned on Noah that he needed to procreate. After many failed attempts, he became frustrated with earth females. On his planet, he would've been considered a god, the most desirable male, with women throwing themselves at him constantly. On Earth, however, Noah found that his appearance not only failed to attract many women, but in some instances, actually repel and frighten them.

He then decided that it would be easier to concentrate all of his efforts on one female and to implant her with his superior seed, make her raise the children, clean the house, and go to work while he carefully works on plans to unite humanity and make life better for everyone and ensure the happiness of all of god's children. As these efforts have been quite unsuccessful, his plans for global improvement and unity have been put on hold for the time being. He promises that he will be sure to alert the public once all the problems of the universe have been solved.


He eventually found a suitable female and keeps her chained up in the basement, taken out only for the occasional exercise. The impudent worm is shown here, laughing behind his back!

Noah hates that! He gets mad! He gets even! There is no end to his wrath! There is no mercy in his soul! Yes, the beatings will continue until morale improves!!

Alas, after all this work, Noah becomes tired and befuddled, which is actually his natural state. He retires to his gardens of tranquility where he chants his favourite mantra "Oh-God-I-Am-So-Great". He then slips into blissful arrogance and self-dillusion.