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Squirrels Run The Planet Earth

Deep below the city streets lives a colony unknown to most surface dwelling humans. They are not humans who left society for a simpler life, creatures evolved from alligators flushed down toilets, or even international crime bosses living "millions of miles beneath the earth's crust".

These creatures are known to us simply as SQUIRRELS

artist's depiction of underground squirrel colony and their vessels

Although the nature of the Squirrel colonies has never been comfirmed, from over-heard conversations amongst squirrel operatives it has been speculated that they are a series of connected underground tunnels. Occasionally, informants has observed human squirrel operatives with devices of a technology far more advanced than anything they've ever seen before. Therefore, the Squirrels are believed to have originated from some technologically advanced culture, probably from another planet.

Greys and Squirrels (and grey Squirrels)

There has been some speculation regarding the similarities between Squirrels and Greys. This is mainly due to the similar eyes and devious intentions. This theory however holds no ground. Squirrels are mammals as we are, Greys are something far more disgusting (essentially bugs). Greys would love it if they had nearly as much control over our species as the Squirrels do!

I have been approached with many questions from interested human slaves. Here are a few of them, with the answers given to them:

Q: Why didn't I know until now?

A: They didn't want you to know. From what I gather, the just don't consider us a threat anymore. In the past, humans had been killed for suggestions of squirrel dominance. Perhaps their sudden ignorance is due to the lack of credibility with which humans give each other. Or maybe they will shortly kill, enslave or leave us and are currently concentrating their efforts on something more worthy of their attention.

Q: How long have they been here?

A: Longer than us. It has been theorized that squirrels developed man to work as one obedient machine to serve some purpose.

Q: Isn't there anything I can do?

A: No.